Step 1) Remain Calm.” Hmm, calm during shark attack? Not so much. Or this advice on what to do if attacked by a bear, courtesy of the Tongass National Forest: Forest Facts webpage, “If a bear actually makes contact, surrender! Fall to the ground and play dead….” So far, so good, I think I could do that. Now what? “… If the bear continues biting you long after you assume a defensive posture, it likely is a predatory attack.” Ya think? In any case, I’m not sure that my playing dead performance could survive the distraction of being repeatedly bitten by a bear. How about some more useful advice? Something that there is a good chance of you actually needing and employing? Like what to do when confronted by a nagging wife? Not unlike the famous Supreme Court Justice quote about pornography, nagging is hard to define, but you know it when you see it. It’s the bane of husbands everywhere. So what should you do in this commonplace worst-case marriage scenario? In conclusion, gentlemen, I give you the number one marriage hack of all time – Love the lioness and see how quickly she turns back into a happy kitty-cat. The disclaimer. Men, there are no guarantees here, I offer you hope, rather than miracles with a reminder that these techniques are intended for use against common or garden nagging, they are not a get-out-of-jail card to deal with any serious offences you may have committed against the institution of marriage. Employ them at your own risk!

From Nag To Shag   The Ultimate Marriage Hack For Men - 37