If you are an average worker, chances are you operate at around 60% capacity, according one corporate survey. In other words, if you are average, it takes you five days of work to accomplish what you could do in three. The benefits of greater motivation and productivity, over time, could transform your career or business dramatically. Imagine getting 40% more done every week, for years to come! That’s the good news: you have tremendous potential! The bad news is that hidden in your psyche (and in mine) is a pervasive obstacle to motivation and productivity.
It’s called an attachment. In this case, it’s an attachment to feelings of deprivation.
In the throes of a deprivation attachment, we cling to feelings of emptiness, apathy, frustration, or boredom and avoid a sense of fulfillment, such as the fulfillment that comes from meeting needs and accomplishing goals. Amazingly, we can get so accustomed to living the deprived life that we unwittingly seek it out by avoiding what would bring satisfaction! In the end, we are left with a conflict. On the one hand, we want to be motivated and succeed. On the other hand, we don’t seem to care. This is a perfect set up for self-sabotage.
Do you have a deprivation attachment? Here are some signs that you do.
Notice how these behaviors indicate that a part of you is seeking to be deprived. • You set a goal, get started, then mysteriously lose motivation or get bored. • You have a need, but do not express it. • You do not allow yourself to be satisfied unless something is perfect, which never happens. • You make excuses to justify laziness. • You put off doing things that you would feel great for doing. • You engage in behaviors that directly prevent genuine fulfillment, such as over-eating, drinking too much, or various addictions that cause you to feel numb or empty. • You feel guilty or scared when you succeed. • You expect disappointment. • You feel like you don’t deserve happiness and success. Acknowledging the deprivation attachment is a huge step toward letting it go. Understanding the source of the attachment is another big help. Essentially, you need to get to the root of this one and pull it out of your psyche for good! Then, you will be free to pursue your dreams without getting sucked into the psychic black hole of deprivation by a part of you that seems to want nothing but emptiness and misery. There are many kinds of negative attachments. We become so accustomed to them that we believe living with them is just “how life is.” We can become attached to rejection, feeling controlled, humiliation, shame, and failure. We need to shine the light on our negative attachments if we are to free ourselves from them.
A challenge to you:
If you suspect the deprivation attachment applies to you, then do the following: for the next 2-3 days, monitor your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Take special note of those that serve to keep you in a state of deprivation. How do you deny yourself the good things in life? What thoughts and feelings keep you from moving forward? This kind of insight is the critical first step toward change! Next, after you begin to get how this works and have a few AHA moments, then you can ask yourself how long you need to keep this up. What purpose does keeping yourself in a state of deprivation serve? What unfinished business do you have around this issue? What would happen if you let it all go and simply pursued fulfillment as if it were your birthright?
